10-Year Old Boy Sneaks into Yankees Dugout, Impersonates A-Rod

No wait...that actually WAS A-Rod.

May 30, with a two-run lead at the bottom of the 9th, Yankee's Jorge Posada popped up along the third base line near 3B Howie Clark. As he chased down the fly ball A-Rod screamed at him from the dugout, causing him to stop pursuit and let it drop safely for a run-scoring single. The Blue Jays were obscenely pissed off, so the umps stepped in to regulate.

A-Rod claimed he yelled "HA!"...Clark said he heard a call for the ball. Either way this probably wasn't the BEST way for Alex Rodriguez to improve his media image. Dude is already dogged by everyone including his own teammates, who didn't really back him on this one. Not even NY's Switzerland-man himself Johnny Damon:

"[I didn't know we could do that,]" says Damon.

Barry Bonds, Charlie Sheen, and Tommy Lasorda support the move. Richie Sexon, Aaron Miles, and Chone Figgins oppose it. Either way you can go ahead and add this antic to the "dooshbag, purse carrying, hair highlighting robot answering pansy" (courtesy of Dustin TWR) not to mention glove slapping club distracting lady of the evening 'i-prefer-the-she-male-type' (courtesy of one secret stripper insider) grab bag of A-Rod's repetoire. You could probably slide on this if you're 10. Or a Kansas City Royal. But not a Yankee. And not if you're A-Rod. So brilliant move on the path to becoming sport's media's next Barry Bonds, A-Rod.

UFC = Ultra-Frail Chuck

Moments like these are the kind you'd love to watch on YouTube. Or catch on some random TV segment featuring the Top 10 UFC or Boxing knockouts. But live, it's shear disappointment.

After lots of hype, the Chuck Liddell v. Quinton Jackson rematch was a bust. At 2:00 in Round 1, after some dancing around, Jackson sent Chuck to the mat with the first punch he landed. Then he jumped on Liddell for a brief ground pound, and it was over.

There's no question Rampage earned his victory, but this was just a bad fight. He knew it, Chuck knew it, Dana White knew it. Defnitely wasn't the "blood-and-sweat" kind of earned. But no matter who you are sometimes a quick, solid, well-placed punch to the jaw is all she wrote, just watch a random Tyson fight. "I got caught," Liddell admitted. Indeed.

Fortunately the undercard fights provided the electricity for the night. Best moments:

3) Kalib Starnes v. Chris Leben on the maincard showed monster stamina; traded even blows and takedowns for 3 rounds. Crowd was pumped the whole way.

2) Keith Jardine v. Houston Alexander. Jardine came out like a rabid dog and was the favored over new-comer Alexander. Alexander got an early beatdown and looked like he didnt belong in the octagon (his intro included his day job as a DJ, elementary school teacher and math tutor, and community serviceman)--but then out of nowhere he lands 1 punch and turns it on. Connects a right hook around Jardine's guard, and throws a left uppercut to his chin, LIFTING THE DUDE OFF THE GROUND and eventually pummelling him into TKO.

1) Karo Parisyan and Josh Burkman. Parisyan didn't get his predicted KO by flashy move, but he did pull off his flashy moves. The first was simply sick. Now I know absolutely nothing about fighting words and terminology, but lemme describe it anyway: They're both locked up on their feet, battling for leverage, with Burkman getting the upperhand. Parisyan somehow gets his right leg around the right leg of Burkman, then twists to his left, getting Burkman to lose his footing and spins them both 360 degrees onto the mat and into some crazy judo hold and completely reversing the advantage. Everyone was like "OOHHHHHHH!!!!!" ha...And I thought those moves only existed in the WWF

LA Dodgers 9, Chi Cubs 8

Takashi Saito pitched a perfect 9th inning for his 15th straight save. Way to go man.

Someone tell me how again this guy's only getting paid $1 million? In Los Angeles? In Milwaukee they're shelling out almost $5 1/2 million for Francisco Cordero, the only closer in the league this season with a better streak.

Last year Saito only got $500k for 24 scattered saves, I mean you'd think they could do a little more for this guy. I think if I had Rafael Furcal's $14 million e-mail addess I'd send him an e-mail with this picture, and this picture alone:



Maybe add a caption: I LOVE TO BASEBALL IN YOUR AMERICA. I GET TREATED SO MUCH BETTER HERE.

NBA Draft Lottery

Boston pretty much got shafted in the draft lottery (Tommy Heinsohn's "ohh shit there goes Durant, Oden, Wright, heck throw in Jesus" face says it all), stuck with the No. 5 spot behind the list below...it's pretty sad to see Boston go under--Paul Pierce is no better off than KG or Air Canada Carter or Kobe in 2 years. Lakers get the 19th pick. My take on the top 4:

1) Portland "A New Rain"
Zach Randolph probably eats more double-doubles than he earns, so adding Greg Oden looks refreshing; he's the next Bill Walton for this franchise. Trade baby-face, get a two guard and build around Oden, ROY-Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge.
Q to ponder: Team's already loaded with big men. Is there any chance in the world they trade down a spot to get Durant?

2) Seattle "Slightly better dying franchise #2" (of the Great Northwest)
Kevin Durant is an 18-yr old beast. Re-sign Rashard Lewis and you have another competitor in the West.
Q to ponder: Does having the #2 pick bump ticket sales, and change the possibility that this franchise moves to OK City?

3) Atlanta "Hustle and Flow, baby. Wait...that's not us"
So they get two early picks. Saviors??? Maybe....that 7-footer from China is supposed to be good, and having the #11 pick means you might wanna risk it then draft a good point guard to run with Joe Johnson.
Q to ponder: Does anyone else shudder that they're calling the dude a "Chinese Nowitzki"? I've always been weird about big guys who opt for a perimeter game. They seem too soft. *cough* Okur *cough cough*

4) Memphis "Slightly better dying franchise #1" (Of the Midwest)
(Insert ANY 6'8, 6'9, or 6'10 guy here) Horford, Wright, and Conley all pop up on mock drafts here. It's all the same they'd draft Greg Ostertagg if he were available.
Q to ponder: Is Jerry West legit in complaining about the lottery system, saying no other sport does it by lottery picks? Personally I think the team with the worst record should be served 1st pick on a silver platter. For basketball fans nothing's worse than watching your team suck knowing they aren't gonna get any better!

Draft date is on 6/28